Repetition

I'm almost speechless. You really can't be serious? We have been through exactly this scenario before and well; you know how that went. It's like history repeats in the stupidest of ways. You've broken my trust before, and after you did break my trust you felt like shit for a complete month or so. Yet still you have the heart to do it again? This time it hasn't just hurt me though, it's hurt someone else. Someone who doesn't need or deserve it.

You're un-fucking-believable. Get the fuck out of my life.

Losing

You lost everything; when I lost you. You've nothing left, not even a heart.

We got the feeling again. That good wholesome feeling my friend.

Room for two

I'll sit and wait for you. And the day you realise you were wrong you'll turn back around, by then I would have picked up the pieces of you and left.

Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas.

Shutter

Went shooting with madek the other night, got some decent long exposures. I'm loving it.

Laughs

I still wake up every morning, turn to the side and laugh in your face.

It makes me feel amazing, and this feeling has eluded me for the past two weeks or so. I feel absolutely amazing.

I guess thanks are in order.

For Her

Just put another band-aid over your scars of hurt. Just put another blanket over the doubt in your mind. Just contain your anger to words written over the internet. Just fill your ears with loud sounds to hide from the truth.

Just know that, the band-aid will fall off and the hurt will begin again.

Just know that, the blanket will never cover all of your doubt.

Just know that, your typed words don't compare verbally.

Just know that, even though you can't hear the truth, it's right there in front of you and you can see it.

Your hurt will never heal. Your doubt will never fade. Your anger will never be seen. Your truths will suffocate you.

That is, until you want them to.

Generally speaking

I guess I haven't really posted a general blog regarding my thoughts and how I am doing in quite a while.

I've bombarded my readers with an ensemble of crazy words and meaningful phrases, whilst I've thoroughly enjoyed writing these words. They have been for dignified purposes and purposes of which I don't like to dwell on all that much, but by expressing myself to you and letting my thoughts out through the use of words does help a lot. So thank you.

I, myself have been in and out of happiness, but the happiness has started to grow on me. I'd much rather the feeling of happiness and I guess it's starting to become a more frequent occurrence. A lot of things have changed recently, some for the best and some for the worst. All in all I've learned to accept these changes and what's come of them; evidently I've grown into a different person. A person that is a lot more tolerant to certain things and more accepting and respectful of others decisions.

I love the new me, you would to.

Never fading away.

A year to the day, still the memories of you never fade. I reminisce on your face day after day. I miss you, I miss you so much.

I miss it all.

Maybes

Maybe it's all just a bad dream that I'll awake from.

Maybe I don't want it to be true.

Maybe I'm having trouble accepting it.

Maybe It'll all pass over.

Maybe the promises you made were always lies.

Maybe I loved you. (You loved me).

Maybe you'll regret this decision.

Maybe you should fuck off and never come back to me again.

Maybe I'm just angry.

The ambient lie

Because the promises you break; they hurt more than any lie you could ever tell me.

The last wish

Those eyelashes you wish upon, they only fall to the floor. Just like all of your greatest hopes and dreams.

Vixxx

Well I would like to think the collaboration Vicky and myself have been working on together is going wonderfully. She finished her friends series finally the other day, and they have turned out amazing, make sure you check her flickr!

On the other hand, twelve years of school is coming to an abrupt end and I'm not entirely happy or sad about this. I'm happy that the workload will decline for a few months, but I'm terribly sad and frightened of saying goodbye to everyone for the last time. As always the negatives seem to outweigh the positives. Hell, I'd do anything in the world to repeat the amazing year I have had, and it has not even ended yet.

More vicky colab's are on the way.

The lost galaxies

Because throughout those lonely nights I'll stare at the constellations and I'll make your face out amongst the stars. Although you cant hear me, I know your there. Looking over me and my mistakes.

The frequency of waves

The past slowly conceals itself away into a dark oblivion and every day the future seems a little bit brighter. So I'll wait for you somewhere in the middle. Because time is constant; as is life.

The lost desire

You don't want something to believe in, you need something to believe in.

The light that fades

You sit alone in your dark room, illuminated by your computer screen. You wait for that false hope that they'll say hello. Eventually, you'll lose the hope that you clutch so dearly and the darkness will consume the light. All hope will be lost; gradually all life will be lost.

This is the start of a new project im working on with vixxx, stay tuned for big advancements.

We all fall down

You try and try again. You fail and fail again.

You pick yourself up once more, obtaining a positive frame of mind. Yet, you still manage to find a way to fail and render yourself back into the same negativity that occurs with each turn down.

Your in a continuous pattern of failing, like walking sinking sand. Eventually your going to fall down.

One day, I'll sink through the sand and it will enclose me.

Buried for all eternity.

I knew

I use to know everything you did, every friend that walked in and out of your life - I knew about it.

I knew where you would be and when, I knew when I would be able to talk to you and when I wouldn't.

I knew you'd be there for when I needed you, and that I would do the exact same for you.

I knew we'd never see each other for more than a week at a time, but the weeks we did share together, were some of the best weeks of my teenage years.

I knew eventually we'd grow apart, its hard to have an amazing friendship when your nearly 2000km's apart.

We knew each others whole life's, every hurdle we've ever had to overcome.

I know your still there, and I'm still here for you. Although our communication is lacking at times, whenever I need you - you'll be there for me. Whenever you call on me to answer for you, I'll come running.

I miss what we had.

Projects

I'm working on a decent project, no idea when it will be completed. Hopefully not soon though...

Life is still lame, really do not want this year to end in anyway, hell I'd complete year 12 until the end of time if it meant I could keep the same friend base and security that I have now.

I am however feeling better then I was last week, which is a gradual improvement I guess.

Chill.

Needs and Wants

And I wanted you to ask if I was okay, actually I needed you to ask.

And I wanted you to say hello, I needed you to say hello.

And I never wanted you to leave, I needed you to stay.

All these wants; all these needs - im sitting here with one final need. Thats you, I need for you to be beside me, asking me if im okay, saying hello to me and staying right by my side.

River flows in you?

Behind these weary eyes lies a river. A river of tears - a river of hurt. The words you say to me (or rather, the words you don't say) they act like a remote control, releasing the flood gates and bursting open the river of hurt and the river seemingly flows freely. Disregarding the apologies you attempt to make, or your ability to make up for lost time. The river, the hurt that you've created, flows away freely into a dark oblivion.

I feel insecurity at the best of times.

Depature

Off to Sydney tomorrow for a quick holiday with the family, should be a good break. Picking up my formal suit down there to so that will be quite an experience... I'm missing her already and I haven't even left yet, :(. bawwww...

Should be back with some big updates, and a heap of pictures to show off.

Time shared is time missed.

Change

Change absolutely terrifies me. I am looking into the future with the most uncertainty I have ever felt and I despise this uncertainty greatly. There has been a lot of I don't wants lately, and I think that's half the problem, I don't know what I actually want, and there's no one to guide me in anyway to what i want, and it sucks.

The only thing I know right now is that I don't want this year to end...

He

He is happy, he is sad, he laughs, he loves, he is lonely, he wants, he needs, he listens, he breathes, he gives, he misses out, he gets angry, he is overwhelmed, he tries to hard, he doesn't try enough, he over thinks, he over reacts, he has been torn apart, he has pieced himself back together, he strives to achieve, he looks into the future, he reflects on the past, he lives for the moment, he is everything he ever wanted to be, he is everything he ever could be, he is unsatisfied, he is alone, he is missing a big part of himself, he is loved, he is needed, he is used, he is lied to, he is all of these things at any given time.
He misses her.

He writes in the third person.

Happy

I have finally pursued some happiness and it feels amazing.

Holidays are right around the corner and should be really good! Going to Sydney and all, should be an amazing break. Sorry about the lack of posts lately, had an enormous amount of assignments and exams in the previous week. All good now though.

So I keep a picture in my wallet of you.

Touch

We're losing touch - over the past few months, we've gone from something that was in certain grasp, to something that is almost unreachable.

Somewhere along the way you chose the path less travelled, and you got lost in the woods, lead astray by your own beliefs. I'm not coming in there to save you, you must find your own way out; by the end of it - you'll be a better person for it... trust me... and if you think this is written about you, well yea, it probably is.

So come and tell me something you've already told me.

Good

Been extremely busy with school, has left me little time for the blog :(.

Anyway, things are looking good. Sequoia is going swell, and this weekend is looking to be good, with TimeOut and Benji's 18th ! Yeow.

Oh seeing Hilltop twice in one year... heh...

Anyway, sleep is highly desirable.

She's Beautiful.

Really

Been watching countless episodes of scrubs at the moment, kinda like addicted , really should be getting a lot more school work done, just cant find the motivation. Sequoia is still being cute :).

I want to find some more decent blogs to read every day, hit me up if you know of one.

\rant

Teens have such a bad reputation throughout society, usually most teens are fine and go against the common stereotype, even though; yea we tend to go out under age drinking and make some noise, has not every generation been through that stage in their life cycle... Though there are many teens out there providing people with the exact link to the stereotype, I was in the shops the other day, and some kids a little younger than me, were running around, screaming swear words, spitting anywhere they please and just being little shits...

It's these kids that ruin it for the rest of us.

/end rant

Console

I heard some devastating news from one of my close friends today, and I did not know how to respond, the hazy feeling of emptiness just consumed me and I could barely console my friend. I still feel empty, for no particular reason, just empty.

I've been delaying with my school work lately, not doing it, reading things instead, I've read some pretty interesting and nice blogs over the past you few days and have thoroughly enjoyed doing so, though as much as I'd like to continue reading new blogs, and quotes etc. I best get on top of my school work once more.

Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that's no matter- tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther…And one fine morning- So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
(Nick, The Great Gatsby)

The last few lines of this novel pretty much sum up how I feel most of the time, I feel some sort of connection to these words, it's weird, but I like it.

Hello darkness my old friend.

Oblivion

As each hand on the clock grows older, the memories of you seem to grow shadier, slowly drifting away into a dark unforgiving oblivion; there's still time to turn the hands forward and reverse some of the damage done. It's entirely up to you though... Fix it now, before it goes past the point of no return.

Its you, and always has been only; you.

Sup

Sports Carnival tomorrow, should be good fun; last one, ever. Schools getting quite hectic, and im not enjoying it at all, just basically sticking it out to get my OP then moving on. All the chats of moving to Brisbane have made me overly excited, share house should be quite good.

Hopefully shooting tomorrow as well.



So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

Improvising

Hate when I get real pumped to take some shots, then I forget something, in this case - tripod. Oh well, I improvised and am happy with how they turned out.

Lately I've been chilling a lot and have been reading a lot of things, I'm actually enjoying the routine I have been in lately, quite a change from my usual mundane stuff. I finally got around to re-setting my fish tank up, I'll make sure to post pics of it when the fish are in it and all looks all cute :).

In restless dreams I walk alone

Watching

I will be watching the watchmen on blue ray when its released this Thursday, ever so keen for that.

Proper back into the full swing of things again with school, very very busy, its alright though...

Sequoia is cute. :)

Mistakes

I seem to make a lot of them, well, a lot in consecutive runs and im not going to lie to you, it fucking sucks.

I'm so close to the edge that just a little push would make me lose all sanity. The world is a dark place, a cold suffocating dark that goes on forever and ever.

Kick this table from under me.

Nothing

Thoughts, they play on ones mind ever so much. Over thinking does not aide or solve anything believe me, I've tried it one to many times. Nothing solves anything, that's the key, do nothing forget it and move on. The best way to forgive, forget or allow yourself to accept.

This blog itself has no significance to anything in reality, is just another thought flowing through my mind, perhaps it should be forgotten to.

Where is my mind at.

Ellis

The beach was good fun, and camping there overnight was real good. I am quite happy with how things are at the moment, just need to get on top of school work now and I'd be over the moon.















Only time will tell.

Wax

Nathan decided he wanted to wax his chest, oh lord. This was the most amazing and hilarious thing I have ever witnessed as a half intoxicated man got his hairs pulled.

Quite a good day though, heading over to Michaels tonight to, should be good.

Im happy.

Suspension

Oh joy.

I've been suspended for three days from school, hopefully this gives me a chance to get above my school work and on track; or not, I've been sleeping in, playing ps3, taking photography and reading literature. This is the life I love, as if I needed a reason to exclude myself from all reality. Should be going driving with Michael tonight, ill try and get some pic's uploaded.

Oh I found THIS...

Let the shimmering sunlight take you wherever you please.

Missing

Well it's been quite a long time since my last post, this is may or may not be due to the fact that i was in New Zealand! I will definitely be visiting New Zealand again.

Such a good time was had by all and I am missing it already; the laughs, the dramas and most of all the slopes. We need to organise a road trip down to Thredbo before we all go our different ways, that would be epic.

School is starting up again soon, not overly keen for that but hey there's only 1 semester left, might as well make something of it...

I am going to try a lot harder to get some more dslr photography, need to get out of this laziness trend, it really does suck.

I found my heart in New Zealand.

Immune

My immune system must have gone on a holiday, been very sick in consecutive weeks no fun at all!

QCS practice tends to be really lame and such an effort to do, oh well New Zealand to look forward to in 6 days! Yeow!

Compare thee to a summers day...

Photog

I miss taking photos, trying to get into the routine again.









Let me light up the sky, light it up for you.

:D

I am feeling good, I like this feeling very much.

Exams are almost over, thank god, just one more to finish. Oh hello New Zealand in a week and a half, oh so excited for that should be a great time with great people.

I want to blog more but haven't really had the time to allow me to, ill try and update more frequently with photos whenever I get the chance.

Town now to get some more NZ clothing.

goodnight and goodluck.

yea

nothing to blog about, life is shit, hating a lot of things about it right now, wish I could disappear.

Is that the purpose in life? To replace yourself by giving birth, a never ending cycle shaped by our very own perceptions of our mortality?

Point

Well, its got a point.

Been extremely busy with school lately, just finished a major piece today, 1 down 3 to go.

Fun

Life has been relatively good. I have 4 major assessment pieces that are all research based, which aren't overly fun, though they are interesting at least.

My goldfish is growing huge, I still cant believe his alive after 3 years, his practically family now.

Today is just another tomorrow.

Heaven

Sometimes you feel like your flying, on top of the world, just scathing heaven.

Other days your just on earth.

Yuck

I've been sick.

Over.

You lied, straight to my face. You looked me square in the eye and lied to my face, without the slightest hesitation. You knew I hated liers, or did you, or were the last 4 months a complete and utter waste of time? Did you not listen to the strong remarks and comments I made about liers and betrayals.

Yet you still managed to build up the courage and wit to lie to my face.

Our friendship means nothing more than a broken piece of leather to me now.

Gameover.

Should

Im extremely excited for Groovin The Moo this weekend in Townsville, should go off!

I miss the old you.

Quality

I'm doing an independent research study on euthanasia, such an interesting topic, I mean who determines when someone's quality of life is no longer to the patients standards, what if the quality of life that one person feels is different to that of another, then you choose to end that persons life even though they are enjoying their life. What is quality of life anyway, if we don't know the purpose of life then how can we define if it is of quality... What if these diagnoses are wrong and the patient isn't terminally ill.

So many unknowns, shows just how much we value life, whatever the quality may be, and that taking your own life, or assisting someone with taking their life is not widely accepted.

I have found no way to explain life at all, other than its just there, and it just happens...

Different

Holidays were good fun, while they lasted at least, back to school tomorrow, back to the mundane routine...

I love the fact that each day new things happen, like the last picture of the sunset for example. I took the exact same shot around a week ago, at the exact same time and its completely different to the previous one.









Trembling in your presence...

Mmm

Food, I'm in love with food, eating would be one of my favourite things to do, especially good healthy food, just savouring the flavour and letting it melt in your mouth is wondrous to think about.

Yea, I went out for dinner tonight, to a place which would have to be my favourite restaurant in the world.


iL Colosseo, Italian food, best pizza's I have ever eaten. Marco is the chef of this joint, and does everything himself, from the preparation to the washing up, absolute legend.

If you are what you eat...

Great

Finally the exams are over, after 6 exams in 4 days I can finally breathe a sigh of relief. They all went swell, and I'm happy with how I performed in each one.

Camp tomorrow, keen and not keen at the same time, should be a great experience anyway, to finally relax with friends after a hard 2 weeks of studying.

Society leaves me speechless.

Brutality

One more exam to go, thank god, after a brutal 5 exams, just one to go. Modern History to on Soviet Imperialism, should be good.





The darkest heart seeks the lightest soul.

Darkness

Its your life, and its ending one minute at a time.

Pademonium

Study basically 24/7 at the moment in preparation for exams, its quite boring. Though its really essential in getting those good marks desired, I can honestly say I am losing sleep over it though, and that more then half of my grade is stressing like mad as well. We tend to act weirdly sometimes to, I'll blame the sleep deprivation.



the cold suffocating dark goes on forever and we are alone.

Remain

With each day brings new challenges, with each day brings new thoughts.
You remain, after all you've ever done to me, you remain, I don't want you to, I don't know why, but you just do, and it actually hurts to see you still in my mind. I want it gone now, I need you to be erased. I don't miss you, I don't need you either. You simply just remain.

Take an eraser to my mind.

Kids

Never to young.

Witness

Life.

It begins, it goes, it ends. Plain as that, you are born, you add your influence to society no matter how great or how small. And you die, there's no afterlife, you may be remembered, your legacy may live on but your not around to witness it so what's the point? The crowd applauses, roll on snare drum, and the curtains close.

I have been mega lazy on the blog posts, purely due to the amount of work I have had lately, also realised caffeine is a really really bad thing when taken in huge proportions.

I need something to get away from the face of reality for awhile something just to unwind to, nothings been working lately, I've just locked myself in this pit of endless study and it feels like I'm drowning

Lower the curtains down on life.

Contempt.

I am highly contempt with Zack Snyder's creation of Allan Moore's and Dave Gibbon's Watchmen. I left a good touch to the epic novel and didn't ruin it the slightest, except for a few mixed up quotes but hey, I'll live with that.

Once you realise what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense...

busy

I have been so busy at late, its just crazy.

But be assured as soon as I have some spare time, I will be back blogging again.

Oh, Watchmen tomorrow :)!

Fast

Time has been going really fast for me lately, and its quite a weird feeling. This has led to my laziness in not posting, my bad.

Both these pictures were snapped at 100 kilometres an hour on a recent trip in Brisbane, quite surreal really at how well they've turned out.

Power.


Pelicans.
Life has been okay lately, there's always the day to day challenges that come and go but nothing overly important to comment on.

It amazes me how that your whole life is based around helping others, and the more you are able to help someone, the more you a rewarded. A doctor for example who helps people by 'healing' them gets rewarded with money a lot more than that of a teacher. The more you help someone, the more you will earn.

06.03.09 I can't wait.

Virtue

I find happiness to be a virtue. I walk around and enjoy seeing other people by happy, enjoy seeing them smile and laugh. Its a great feeling, I also enjoy making others happy.
My only issue is not being happy myself, but that will come I guess, in due time.

This made me smile.


levity is the soul of wit | Hey Bunny - A great, great blog.

Being rational should be a religion.

Back

Back from Brisbane and the conference, oh so tired, it was so mentally draining.

Sleeping is pleasant.

Loving

Been heaps lazy, sorry guys. :)

Everything is going well though, absolutely loving life at the moment! Brisbane for the day tomorrow, not keen on being awake for 21 hours then attending classes the next day.

Saw Yes Man, with Kirsten last night, was a pretty decent movie.

There's traffic in the sky.

Significance

Don't you just love the feeling of significance, the feeling that you mean something to someone. I know I sure do, and its a great feeling.

Life is based purely upon chances. Chances we take, chances we make and chances we break.

Enjoying Life.

Birthday

Was my Aunt's birthday last night, Happy Birthday Antie.



Back into the full swing of school now, has been quite enjoyable so far. Though I'm sure that enjoyment will die as the work starts to pile on, only time will tell though.

Sudden Change resolves in Sudden Dramatics.

Alcohol

The effects of alcohol, are bad, very very bad.

You were always going to crash.



Don't drink kiddies.